FRUITCAKE II:

AKA ĎToo Many Nutsí

For those who just canít get enough nuts in their life.

By Edward A. Hara

Honest to Pete, this was just such fun the first time that I have been asked by friends to bake another one. For those unaware of what I speak of, here is a link to the first fruitcake:

http://matt1618.freeyellow.com/private.html

This sequel though might be a bit different in flavor, and will be harder to bake, since I have to be careful to not repeat the same ingredients as I put in the first one. Nevertheless, I do have a couple of great lead off hitters waiting on deck.

I have been asked to provide URLís for the various web sites where I find this trash. I refuse to do so, for the simple reason that the devil is subtle in his lies and I do not want to help him at all. My job is to make him and his minions look like the fools they are for publishing this crap. It is not to help him by sending someone who may not be well grounded over to a web site which will disturb the mind of one not properly formed in their faith. If you are interested in reading beyond this, go get a copy of Jurgenís FAITH OF THE EARLY FATHERS and spend time reinforcing your Catholic Faith. It is the best thing you could do for yourself.

So, without further ado (since Iím not nearly as funny as these wackos), letís introduce our first up to the plate:

Beloved by all who have come to know and love his long winded explanations of why the Roman Catholic Church is the Whore of the Revelation and the Church of the Anti-Christ, here is our good friend and loving antagonist ó Rand Windburn, whom we affectionately call:

RANT WINDBAG

I will try not to tire you with this, but really, Rant, uhhhhhhhh, Rand, is just one more of legions of Fundamentalists and Calvinists whose passion is seeing how much dirt they can dig up on the Church. After a while, it gets pretty much routine, after all, how much embellishment can lies stand? He has the usual assortment of lying excrement on his site, of which we not only give you samples. At the end we will provide you with a URL (oh, be still my beating heart!) where it will be discovered that his sources are all a pack of bald faced liars with an agenda.

LECHERY IN THE CHURCH OF ROME EXPOSED

BY RAND WINBURN

A Protestant Reformation Publication

WARNING: This Treatise contains Roman Catholic Church Latin translations which use explicit language not suitable for the young, the immature, the religious, or the self-righteous.

Lechery: "unrestrained, excessive indulgence of sexual desires; gross sensuality; lewdness." (Webster)

Lecher: "a man who indulges in lechery; lewd, grossly sensual man." (Webster)

The root of both words is Old French, lechier, meaning to live a debauched life.

It literally means to lick. (Webster)

Oooooooooh, Rand. That feels so goooooooood!!!! (Sorry, for those of you with fertile imaginations ó but HE started it!!)

Well, our boy has not let us down. Rather than engage in a substantive discussion of doctrine, he reaches into the toilet and begins flinging dung. What is it with these Protestants and their fascination for filth? Am I denying that there exist problems in the Church? Of course not. Any moron with the ability to read would know that the Church is made up of terribly human sinners, some of whom struggle with temptations all the days of their lives. But Rand and all his anti-Catholic buddies make the Church look like Madam Wooís Pussycat Pleasure Palace from top to bottom and side to side. Reading their screed, one would think that the whole edifice has no holy people in it, just wave after wave of lechers, pedophiles, and sexually immoral people.

Then he makes the first of many glaring errors which show that he, like most presuppostionalists, is blinded by his own prejudices. He goes on to say:

"And their dead bodies shall lie in the street of the great city, which spiritually is called Sodom and Egypt, where also our Lord was crucified."

This is supposed to be one of the STRONG verses in the book of the Revelation which points directly to the Catholic Church being the "Whore of Babylon" and the Church of Anti-Christ.

Uhhhhhhhh, Rand, ole buddy, ya forgot one teeeeeeeeny little detail, pallie boy!

CHRIST WAS CRUCIFIED IN JERUSALEM!!!

I am about fed up with all these amateur theologians who cannot see something when it sticks out like a sore thumb. How anyone could read this and not see that Christ was not crucified in Rome or in the Roman Catholic Church (which did not even exist at the time of the Crucifixion) is beyond me. This is why children should not be given Bibles and be asked to do theology. Of course, perhaps he was busy being licked by his preoccupation with perversion in the Church, right?

Rand goes on from here to prove how really prejudiced he is. (So prejudiced in fact that he misses whole points in his massive effort to trash the Catholic Church.)

Council of Nicśa, A. D. 325

Canon 1. Self-mutilation incompatible with clerical office.

The discerning reader will immediately understand the thrust of this canon: sadism and masochism form the grounds for salvation for these misguided religious. One is 'saved' by suffering. Or one 'saves' by his own suffering for others. One cannot help but bring to mind the unclean spirit described in Mark 5. Flagellation is proof of demon possession, not the work of the Holy Spirit.

Canon 3. 'Sub-introduced' women not to dwell with clerics.

Already the religious were engaging in fornication, not taking care to hide their sins from public scrutiny. Efforts were made by the Council to curtail this wicked behavior by limiting the clergy's "house guests" to mothers, sisters or aunts, in order to "escape all suspicion" of wrongdoing. After this decree took effect, it was amazing how many new 'relatives' of the priests materialized.

Canon 9. On inquiry into the character of ordinands.

The official Church was experiencing a deficiency in the moral and ethical character of its priests. They were ordaining idolaters, adulterers, murderers, blasphemers, bigamists, heretics, etc. Despite the ordinand's baptism, confirmation and ordination, it became apparent that the priest's inherent sin nature was unchanged, proving the lie of baptismal regeneration, the lie of Holy Spirit "strengthening" via confirmation, and the lie of the impartation of the sanctifying grace of the Holy Spirit in their ordination.

Do you see by now what our friend windbag is totally missing here? The Church was not giving sanction to such behaviors, She was trying to exterminate them and purify Herself. The official position was not to avert oneís eyes and turn oneís back on such behavior, but to acknowledge it and take steps against it. I wonder if we can find Biblical evidence that this was not a new phenomenon?

1Co 5:1 It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father's wife.

Eph 5:3 But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints;

Hey, Rand, do you recognize the writer? Itís St. Paul, your hero of "imputed righteousness" and supposed anti-catholic thought. Now why do you suppose that Paul would write such a thing except that this problem even existed in his time. Let fornication, uncleanness, and covetousness, not be named among you. Why bother with this warning if true Christians who are "born again" canít sin, as you intimate in your interpretation which I highlighted in bold above. You see, Calvinists believe that once you are really born again, you stop sinning completely. But I find scant evidence for this idea in Scripture. The realistic view is that we GROW in grace and sin gets less and less hold on us as we put on the "new man" recreated in Christ and put the old man to death.

Canon 17. Clerics are forbidden to take interest or devise other schemes of dishonest profit.

Common sense dictates that the clergy would have no money to lend had they truly adhered to the vow of poverty. Instead, the Church hierarchy gained immense wealth through venality, extortion, thievery, and promises of shortened time in Purgatory given the dying penitent, in exchange for his leaving the Church all his possessions. Schroeder tells us the bishops were demanding 50% interest. Thus, we can see the origin of 'loan sharks.'

Council of Constantinople, A. D. 381

Canon 6. On accusation against bishops.

Due to the growing number of accusations of evil doings directed toward the ruling bishops by the general populace, certain rules were instituted for the purpose of suppressing truth. Those who held non-Catholic beliefs (i.e., 'heretics', who comprised true Bible-believing Christians), were not allowed to testify against a bishop. But it was the true Christians, called 'heretics,' who abhorred the sins of the established Church, and who went to great lengths to expose them.

Rand, seeing how many damned lies (and I mean DAMNED lies ó what do you think God does to LIARS) have been promoted against the Church and her leaders by way of written and verbal falsehood, is it any wonder the Church has had to deal with this. And the "true" Christians of AD 381 must have been outside the Catholic Church, right? Which means that you consider the Arian heretics to be "true Christians". Nice company ya keep there, boy!!!

Canon 4. Against disorderly conduct in monks.

Promiscuity is denounced to those religious who, rather than "embrace a quiet life and attend to fasting and prayer only," continue to attend those places, in secrecy, which they publicly renounced. Although not specified in this canon, common sense dictates such off-limit premises would include whore houses and bars. Once again, we see the inefficacy of the sacraments in the lives of these 'holy' terrors.

The problem is Rand, that we are already beginning to see that you are woefully lacking in common sense. What gives you the right to make such an assumption. Perhaps these places might have been Protestant assembly meetings. Which are, in truth, no different from whorehouses.

Canon 16. A consecrated virgin and a monk may not marry under penalty of excommunication.

Although most humans are born with the innate desire to love another and to raise a family through the bonds of marriage, the Holy Catholic Church has determined, by its own authority, that such needs, desires and wants shall be declared evil and sinful - unsuitable for serving God in holiness and truth. This canon is but the tip of the iceberg seen in that prophecy of Paul's, in which he declares the doctrines of devils, (I Timothy 4:1-3), predicted to be instituted by Mystery Babylon. It is while 'under obedience' to such unbiblical rules that sodomites, lesbians, pedophiles and adulterers may thrive, undetected for centuries. Of course, such illicit behavior ignores hypocritical vows of chastity, and is contrary to the Christian law of grace.

What about the Blessed Virgin Mary? She was a consecrated virgin. We have a written record of her consecration to God in the Temple from early in her life.

Or how about these people:

Re 14:4 These are they which were not defiled with women; for they are virgins. These are they which follow the Lamb whithersoever he goeth. These were redeemed from among men, being the firstfruits unto God and to the Lamb.

Rand? Whatís your explanation for this? Scripture, which you claim is our only authority, specifically says that sexual union defiles men. May I see your innovative explanation, which will specifically deny this verse?

You see, what our resident bigot does not understand is that the whole purpose of the Christian life is to develop our spiritual selves. The flesh is called the "enemy of the believer". Therefore, when the Church insists that its religious abstain from worldly lusts and fleshly desires, it is following in a Scriptural pattern which has been given to us by God for the suppression of our fleshly desires and the development of our spiritual selves. Rand conveniently ignores the many people, including the Blessed Virgin, whose testimony is one of total purity and holiness in denying these demands of the flesh. He tries desperately to make it sound like no man or woman can be expected to live a life of self-denial and service to God. In doing this, he takes the position of the evil world around us which says by way of constant media barrage, that human beings are no better than rutting animals who cannot control themselves. Nice, Rand!!! Take the worldís side and not Godís!!

The real problem is that not everyone is given the gift of continence and celibacy so that they can enter into the religious life. But lots of kids are forced into the religious life who do not belong there. Moms and dads who desperately want a priest in the family, priests who push kids to the religious life because the Church is short of priests, and a host of other factors every year bring a certain number of kids into the religious life who simply do not belong there. They have not been given the gift by the Lord and they should be elsewhere. When their failures make the news, they give bigots like Rand cannon fodder for their pathetic view of the Church.

Canon 27. Those who forcibly carry off women, also their accomplices, are severely punished.

Both the clergy and laity had a propensity to kidnap and rape women at will. Schroeder illuminates the subject: "The purpose of such abduction was either marriage or, more usually perhaps, the gratification of lusts." Again, we see the inefficacy of the sacraments of the Catholic Church, the 'failure' of the Holy Spirit to lead His own into all truth, and the fulfillment of prophecy in identifying the great whore, the Mother of all harlots.

Again, he makes generalized sweeping statements which make it sound like every single person in the Catholic Church is doing these things. And he ignores that the Church is not condoning such behavior, but is opposing it in an official document.

Canon 20. Henceforth no double monasteries shall be erectedÖÖ.Monks and nuns shall not dwell together in the same monastery, for thus adultery finds its occasion. Nor shall one have access to the monastery of the other.

Not surprisingly, as in coed college dorms, fornication was rampant in double monasteries which housed both monks and nuns. Sin had gotten so out of hand that there needed to be an official decree published, for all the world to see, that monks and nuns were transgressing their holy vows, breaking the very commandments of God they promised to uphold. Eleven hundred years later, The Awful Disclosures of Maria Monk detailed that in Montreal, Canada, the fornications and rapes of nuns by priests were alive and well behind closed convent doors.

Maria Monk was a liar and mentally unbalanced. For proof of this, go to:

http://www.english.upenn.edu/~traister/hughes.html

Of course, anti-catholic bigots would rather believe lies than truth. It makes hating the Catholic Church so much easier. Iíll skip vast portions of the rest of this screed, but there is a curious objection at the end of his page:

Canon 54. The payment of tithes takes precedence over the payment of taxes and other expenses and those who invert this order are to be punished.

Kenneth Copeland and Fred Price would be proud of this canon.

Thatís really funny. I heard Larry Burkett teach the same thing on his MONEY MATTERS program. God gets what rightfully belongs to Him first and before any other demands upon my money. It seems that Mr. Windbagís god is not the God of the Bible, but the false god of big government, which thinks it has the first and premier right to our hard earned cash.

Randís web site says that it is a ministry to awaken the "sleeping elect". Rand, we are awakening. We are finding out that the Protestant Rebellion was based on faulty hermeneutics, lies, distortions of Scriptures, and fomented by people who, like Maria Monk had serious and grave mental problems, not the least of which was its founder, Martin Luther. As we read the Early Church Fathers, as we shake off the lies like the ones you fill your pages with, we are awakening to the fact that the Church which Christ established is the Church Catholic, holy, one, apostolic and Eucharistic in nature and teaching. All the evidence from the writings of the Fathers identifies for us that this Church, despite its problems, its very human leaders and priests, and its sometimes need for reform, is the Bride of Christ. Among His promises was that He would never leave it nor allow the gates of hell to prevail over it.

You, on the other hand, are part of a tidal wave of fighting, schismatic, and heretical assemblies, which have the nerve to call themselves churches without having a licitly ordained priesthood to administer the Sacraments. The results of your Protestant Rebellion are sickeningly evident as one by one these "churches" ordain, marry and support sodomites, steal money from the faithful under the guise of "prosperity gospels", and teach doctrines which question the divinity of Christ, the Trinity, and even the need for salvation itself.

So, Rand, look around you, my blinded and delusional friend. Your rebellion has spawned all this. It is a direct result of leaving the one institution, which Christ promised to protect. It is the Catholic Church which is standing for morality and decency, which is protecting unborn life, and refusing to ordain those who are immoral. My advice, sir;

GET A LIFE!!!

Maybe I should take a Seedy Vacation instead!

You know, I really hate doing this in a sense, because I have a grudging admiration for Traditionalists. After all, who in their right mind wants to celebrate a guitar Mass? Some things are better left alone, the celebration of the Blessed Sacrament being one of them.

However, there is a serious difference between being a Traditionalist who stays in the Church, writes letters to his bishop, prays for the Church, and works towards restoring those wonderful Traditions which were lost by the misapplication of Vatican II. That is far from being schismatic, which is what these next people are in spades. And after all is said and done, would you tell me what is the difference between them and Calvin and Luther?

Okay.....on to the sites.

We announce to you a great joy!

The Catholic Church Has Elected Pope Pius XIII

October 24, 1998

After 40 years of the Holy See being vacant, the Catholic Church has, on October 24, 1998 elected Pope Pius XIII as the Vicar of Christ on Earth. The details of his election and papacy can be found on the Papal Homepage .

Many of Pope Pius XIII's writings, penned prior to his ascension to the Chair of St. Peter, will continue to exist on this website under his former name. Many of these writings are in newsletters known as Caritas, and in other documents on specific topics. These will be marked with a yellow oval saying "Pre Pius XIII Document." Documents which do reference the "vacancy" will be clearly date-stamped and marked as written prior to the restoration of the papacy, because their content and explanations are invaluable in understanding the background of the papal situation.

Hoooookay. Attsa one-a pope!! (To paraphrase my Italian mother.)

POPE MICHAEL

On July 16, 1990 the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Roman Church elected David Bawden as Pope Michael, ending an almost 32 year long interegnum. For more information on the basis of this election, please read our subject on the subject.

Hooookay, attsa two- a popes!!

ITíS GOOD ENOUGH FOR JESUS, THEN ITíS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!!

Try not to die laughing as you read this monumental piece of theological ignorance!!!

KJV, Good Enough for Paul?

If the King James Was Good Enough for Paul, It's Good Enough for Me!

This statement is usually made in a sarcastic manner in order to embarrass Bible believers in their belief. The FACT is, the King James Bible WAS good enough for Paul, as well as Peter, Luke, and Jesus Christ.

GOOD ENOUGH FOR LUKE?

Acts 1:1-2 The former treatise (the Gospel of Luke which Luke also wrote to Theophilus) have I made, O Theophilus, of all that Jesus began both to do and teach, Until the day in which he was taken up, after that he through the Holy Ghost had given commandments unto the apostles whom he had chosen:

Luke, in what may have been a passing comment, in the second verse of Acts chapter one, rings the death blow to the famous Nestle's Greek New Testament and also the New American Standard Version. Luke states that his "former treatise" told of all that Jesus BEGAN to do, and continued, "until the day in which he was taken up." Luke's gospel is the ONLY one of the four gospels which records any of Christ's actions PRIOR to His baptism at the age of thirty years old. (Matthew 3:16, Mark 1:9 and John 1:29-34)

Luke's gospel ends with Christ being "carried up into heaven " (24:51). This correlates with Acts 1:2 "Until the day in which he was taken up."

Thus, Luke states that his gospel begins with the earliest acts of Christ and ends with His ascension. Therefore, any Greek manuscript no matter what the age, containing the Gospel of Luke which omits either of these accounts is not authentic. In an examination of the 23rd Edition of Nestle's Greek Text we find that the Greek words, "Kai anepheroto eis ton huranon," "and was carried up into the heaven" are NOT found in this text.

The footnote in the critical apparatus indicates that the authority for removing this phrase is no more than manuscript (MS) Sinaiticus, D, one majuscule MS known as number 52 and one 5th century palimpsect (a MS which has been erased and written over top of). The phrase "and carried up into heaven" is found in B, C, E, F, G, H, L, S, T, V, Y, Z, Delta, Theta, Psi, and Omega plus papyrus p75, and most remaining witnesses. Yet on the basis of only two MSS the conservative scholars of the secret Lockman Foundation have omitted this phrase from Luke 24:51 in the NASV. Hence, the NASV is not truly a reliable translation. In fact, of most modern versions, only the "liberal" scholars of the RSV agreed with the "conservative" scholars of the NASV in omitting the phrase. Thus the known Communistic liberals of the RSV and the conservatives of the NASV are in full agreement that Christ did not ascend bodily into heaven.

So we see that if Luke, the writer of Luke and Acts, could examine a King James Bible and a NASV he would declare the NASV a fraud and promptly proclaim the KJV as authentic.

If it's good enough for Luke, it's good enough for me!

GOOD ENOUGH FOR PETER?

Psalm 16:8. I have set the LORD always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.

The two words "he is" are in italics. That means it was not in ANY of the manuscripts available to the KJV translators. The only Bible in existence that contained "he is", is the King James Bible.

Acts 2:25 For David speaketh concerning him, I foresaw the Lord always before my face, for he is on my right hand, that I should not be moved:

So here we find the Apostle Peter quoting Psalm 16:8 italicized words and all! He quoted words that exist ONLY in the King James Bible! You would almost believe that God wanted them in there wouldn't you?

If it's good enough for Peter, it's good enough for me!

GOOD ENOUGH FOR PAUL?

Romans 10:20: But Esaias is very bold, and saith, I was found of them that sought me not; I was made manifest unto them that asked not after me.

Isaiah 65:1 "I am sought of them that asked not for me; I am found of them that sought me not: I said, Behold me, behold me, unto a nation that was not called by my name."

The words "them that" which Paul quoted exist ONLY in the italics of the King James Bible. They were in no other Bible in existence. Paul quoted a KJV, 2000 years ago!

I Corinthians 3:20 And again, The Lord knoweth the thoughts of the wise, that they are vain.

Psalm 94:11, The LORD knoweth the thoughts of man, that they are vanity.

We find the word "are" supplied by the translators. He did it again! Paul quoted a word which is found ONLY in the Authorized Bible!

I Corinthians 9:9 For it is written in the law of Moses, Thou shalt not muzzle the mouth of the ox that treadeth out the corn. Doth God take care for oxen?

Deut 25:4: "Thou shalt not muzzle the ox when he treadeth out the corn.

Here we find Paul quoting the words "the corn" just as if they had been in the Hebrew original even though they are ONLY found in the italics of our Authorized Version! Strike three, KJV detractors, yer OUT!

If it's good enough for Paul, it's good enough for me!

GOOD ENOUGH FOR JESUS CHRIST?

We find Jesus Himself quoting a word that only exists in the italics found in the pages of the King James Bible.

Deuteronomy 8:3 And he humbled thee, and suffered thee to hunger, and fed thee with manna, which thou knew est not, neither did thy fathers know; that he might make thee know that man doth not live by bread only, but by every word that proceeders out of the mouth of the LORD doth man live.

You will note that the word "word" is in italics, meaning of course, that it was not in the Hebrew text. Upon examination of Deuteronomy 8:3 in Hebrew one will find that the word "dabar" which is Hebrew for "word" is not found anywhere in the verse.

Yet in His contest with Satan we find Jesus quoting Deuteronomy 9:3 as follows:

Matthew 4:4 But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.

While quoting Deuteronomy 8:3 Jesus quotes the entire verse including the King James italicized word! Even an amateur "scholar" can locate "ramati", a form of "rama", which is Greek for "word", in any Greek New Testament. Jesus Christ Himself quoted a King James Authorized Bible!

Yes, the King James was good enough for Paul, and Luke, and Peter, and Jesus Christ. It's good enough for me!

This is ignorance beyond belief. Not only that, there are numerous translation errors in the KJV which the "KJV only" crowd is either ignorant of or does not want to discuss. For instance, in Matthew 24: 3, the disciples as Christ when the end of the world is coming. Sounds innocent enough, except for the fact that the word the KJV translates as "world" is aion and it doesnít mean world at all!! It means "age", which gives a whole different meaning to that verse and the entire discourse of Matthew 24.

Another interpretive snag is found in Acts 2: 38 where Apostle Peter exhorts the crowd who has just finished listening to his preaching to "repent and be baptized for the remission of sins". Nice touch. But again, the problem is that the word translated "for" in this text has no such meaning. The word is eis and it means "in or into". So, properly translated, this verse is actually saying, "repent and be baptized into the forgiveness of sins". Big difference.

There are other problems with the interpretation, but these two suffice to show that the KJV 1611 AV is NOT PERFECT as the Ruckmanites claim it to be.

The great fun of this little site is the animation, which shows a picture of the KJV 1611. The devil runs up and starts stabbing it with his pitchfork, whereupon the book violently flips open and smashes the devil. So is this the Word of God, or is it God? The way that the Ruckmanites worship a translation borders on idolatry.

Oh, and get this. He proudly proclaims that he is not a Ruckmanite, but a Ruckman Knight. (My, how noble that sounds ó brave knight of the Ruckman Round Table!!) He has a sign which hangs on his house warning all "BEWARE!! Resident of this house is a Ruckman Knight "All Scripture is given by inspiration of God"

Well, since that is the case, let me leave you with a bit of Scripture our Ruckman Knight seems to forget:

Mt 18:17 And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.

And one more, for good measure:

1Ti 3:15 But if I tarry long, that thou mayest know how thou oughtest to behave thyself in the house of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth.

The Church, the Catholic Church, which is founded upon St. Peter, is called the pillar and ground (or foundation) of the truth. Why didnít the Apostle say the Bible? Because it didnít exist for another 400 years and furthermore, the Holy Spirit has given only ONE body to be the Spirit guided interpreter of doctrinal and moral truth ó The Catholic Church and none other. The most cursory look around the ecclesiological landscape of the world will show this to be true. There are thousands of denominations, sects, cults, and "isms", all of whom claim to get their "truth" directly from the Bible. This chaos, coupled with the moral decay of Protestantism and the doctrinal rot of non-catholic denominations, just goes to prove that there indeed is only one Body which is the pillar and foundation of the truth by virtue of its Spirit led interpreting of the Holy Word.

All others, including this poor deceived soul, are in various stages of delusion.

Stupid Rides Again!!! Hiyo Silver!!!

You see, what is so much fun about putting these little snippets together is watching people act as if they are the absolutely most brainiest people on the face of the earth as they make statements that a three year old could dissect. Of course, whatís scary about these fruitcakes is that they multiply. They tend to replicate themselves in little fruitcakes who, rather than study the issues for themselves over a nice cold Guinness Stout and a fine cigar, simply learn to parrot bilge as if it were golden words of truth.

Hereís another little gem from a very thinly veiled White Supremacist site:

Some centuries after the early church, Christians had many antagonists even as we do today. In order to withstand such opposition to the truth, there were also leaders then who strongly contended for the faith by using their language talent and knowledge of the Holy Scriptures. The glorious explanation culminated concerning the deity of Christ and was decreed at the Council of Nicaea.

Hey, screwy Loouie!! The Bible was officially canonized AFTER Nicea AD 325. I guess this genius figures that the Christians at Nicea, when faced with a difficulty in figuring things out, just reached under their clerical robes and pulled out a dog-earred copy of the KJV 1611 AV. And if that didnít answer the question, then surely their trusty copy of the Scofield KJV did.

Letís see what other fun awaits us on their pages.

We are alerting the Nordish (European American) people that their race is in danger of being annihilated. Those who choose to join us will be blessed as they look unto God and separate from the world and its disobedient, miscegenation and diversity promotion through the apostate influence of the controlled, anti-white media.

Whoops!!! Yup. There it is. Someone tell me where to get in line to receive my custom made bed sheet with the pointy top.

Protestant Honored Heretics:

Billy Graham

Pat Robertson


John MacAuthur

Howard Camping per radio program 7/4/88

Less Honored Heretics:

Bro. Stair

I just wanted to make a point with this list of names. The fourth manís name is HAROLD Camping, not Howard. Do you know how foolish you look that you cannot even get that right? Larry Burkett also gets an honorable mention. Why? Because he discusses with believers financial issues which involve the making of money by interest. Our writer swears he would rather starve than to make a cent off interest. Given the nastiness of his site, I would encourage the former.

THEREíS NOTHING LIKE A MEEK, HUMBLE SERVANT OF THE LORD.

But this is NOT he!!

NEARLY 50 YEARS OF ANNOINTED GOSPEL MINISTRY .... { Look What GOD Hath Wrought! }

For The Gifts and Calling of GOD are Without Repentance: If you are a christian and have no strong extreme feelings surrounding the developments of the only man living today that has preached the gospel of Jesus Christ to more people than anyone since the apostle Paul, then you {as well as others who do} must read this. Virtually over night the Holy Ghost has lifted up and annointed Evangelist Jimmy Swaggart to once again sweep planet earth with the gospel of Jesus Christ, and in less time than it took to cut out the Grand Canyon! What is GOD doing through this ministry?

The CHURCH

THE MESSAGE OF THE CROSS So little emphasis and preaching on the cross of calvary during the last fifty to sixty-five years has resulted in most of the church studying on how to get rich and cover themselves in gold-dust instead of the blood of Jesus Christ. For this purpose GOD Almighty has again raised up brother Swaggart to demonstrate emphatically the importance of the victory and continuous overcoming power that Christ has afforded the church of the living GOD. The hyper-faith and psychological man made gospel has left church members cold and powerless and GOD the Holy Ghost is moving to rescue and prepare us for the Rapture!

HIS VOICE MAKES THE DIFFERENCE

"Heaven and Earth shall pass away, but MY Word shall NOT pass away." {Matthew 24:35} In St. John 10:3-4, Jesus Christ speaking of his own and refering to them as sheep said HE does, ".... leadeth them out .... the sheep follow HIM .... for they know HIS Voice". Evangelist Jimmy Swaggart has heard the voice of GOD as few men in all human history. Yet christians and new converts are as never before feeling that tug from the Holy Spirit as brother Swaggart's GOD-given revelations on the cross are leaving countless thousands teary-eyed and broken before a Holy GOD. Why?

REVELATION OF THE CROSS DOESN'T STOP AT THE MOMENT OF SALVATION

"But Ye Shall Receive Power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon You: .... GOD has shown brother Swaggart and is in fact demonstrating to the body of Christ through these revelations that the effectual power and victory purchased by the Lord Jesus Christ at Calvary is continuous and proceeds in our walk with Christ AFTER conversion and even AFTER the mighty baptism of the Holy Ghost with the evidence of speaking with other tongues! This is where the majority of the church has missed it .... even in Pentecostal realms.

REALLY?? I wonder what Benny Hinn would have to say about that? Or the multitude of other charlatans who prey upon the simple minded, getting them to roll on the floor in "holy laughter", bark like dogs, and even engage in "holy vomit" Ugggggggh!!!

FINISH THE RACE

"I Press Toward The Mark For The Prize of the High Calling of GOD in Christ Jesus .... GOD SHALL REVEAL EVEN THIS UNTO YOU" {Philippians 3:14}: No ministry method can replace the preaching of the gospel under the Annointing of the Holy Ghost! GOD is ministering through brother Swaggart concerning the victorious christian life through Internet Television, Radio, and of course the weekly telecast. What is special about the Internet programing is the moving of the Holy Ghost through LIVE Programing which is ran simultaneously through the Internet on the world wide web and Radio. This spells trouble for satan and he knows it! The Rapture could happen at any moment as the Lord Jesus Christ is prepared to catch us away. The Holy Ghost is saying satan's time is up! Look to the Cross! And Jesus will say to you, "Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away." {Song of Solomon 2:10}

YOUR BLESSING'S COMING THROUGH

"LIVE" SERVICES FROM THE INTERNET "No weapon that is formed against you shall prosper" {Isaiah 54:17} .... No matter who you are, be it a christian or unbeliever, feel free to tune in to LIVE services on Sunday mornings, Sunday nights, Wednesday evening services, and ALL of the Upcoming CAMP MEETINGS by clicking this link to the Official

Hereís just a tad more of Jimmyís standard fare:

And Roman Catholicism with her false Replacement Theology which claims that the church has replaced Israel because the Jews rejected Christ still wishes to occupy Jerusalem as her own. The truth is that Roman Catholicism rejects Christ Jesus and desires the Roman Pontiff above all. The Roman Catholic cult is wrong in their replacement theology. Even though Israel as a nation is in rebellion to the plan of Almighty GOD, Israel is still GOD's timeclock in terms of prophecy.

Jimmy, if you would read that Bible you are always waving around as you make gutteral noises and foam and fume, you would find this little gem straight from the lips of our Lord:

Mt 21:41 They say unto him, He will miserably destroy those wicked men, and will let out his vineyard unto other husbandmen, which shall render him the fruits in their seasons.

Of whom is the Lord talking here? Well, reading a bit further gives us the answer.

Mt 21:45 And when the chief priests and Pharisees had heard his parables, they perceived that he spake of them.

Jimmy, this man whom the Lord has spoken to more than anyone else in the history of Christendom, perhaps should stop listening to voices and start studying the Scriptures a bit closer. He has believed the usual lie that the nation of Israel will be resurrected after the "rapture" (he believes that myth also), and returned to being the administrators of the vineyard. BUT NOT ACCORDING TO MY BIBLE. Verse 41 says they will be miserable destroyed, which happened in AD 70 with the destruction of Jerusalem, and I see no other verse indicating that they will be let back in to run the vineyard they so mishandled before. We also see that the Jews themselves understood this all too well in verse 45. They knew Christ was talking about them and the nation they ran when He prophesied destruction to the current administrators (husbandmen) of the vineyard kingdom.

Now, just to finish this off with a flourish, at the bottom of the page there is an add for the RED DEVIL KITCHEN GRILL. Hope you too see the wonderful humor of all this.

MORE PROPHETS FOR PROFIT

OR

"How did I miss these nuts the first time around?"

Rapture '98

by Bob L. Ross

IF YOU MISSED IT IN '95, '94, '89, '88, OR SOME OTHER TIME, YOU NOW SHOULD PREPARE FOR . . . RAPTURE '98!

Somehow, I missed all of the above Raptures -- the one in 1995 sponsored by Peter's Ruckman's student, Mel Turner (alias "Tale Turner"); the Harold Camping Rapture of 1994; the "good guess" Rapture by Ruckman in 1989; the Edgar Wisenut Rapture of '88; and perhaps some other Raptures I am overlooking or didn't even hear about. And if you are reading this, I suppose you missed them all, too. At least they all have one "redeeming element" to them -- they keep us posted that a Rapture is coming.

But you needn't worry too much about missing all those Raptures, for their sponsors missed them, too. The only difference is, they may have made a little money off of selling their Rapture products, or gotten a little "attention" for awhile. That seems to be about all the past Rapture predictions were good for -- get a little attention and make a little money. Or, they give fellows like me something to do by way of helping others to "be ready" for the next one.

Your next opportunity to make the Rapture will be May 31 of 1998 -- unless someone else has already announced (or will yet announce) an earliter departure. I just wish it could come a little earlier, and knock-out having to file Tax Returns for '97; It would be worth it to catch an earlier Rapture, just to get out of filing those.

Anyway -- the next one scheduled at this writing (so far I know) is the Rapture announced by "M. J. Agee," who we learned from her ~website is a woman.

Her name is "Marilyn J. Agee," so I will call here "MA" for short. Like all Rapture heralds worth their salt, MA has books for sale, which she says are the result of "a rectangle of light appearing on one verse in the Bible" [Jer. 50:2]. She says it took her 20 years "before I realized that God opened my eyes that night," but the wait seems to have been worth it. Now MA has three books to her namesake; she not only knows when the Rapture will take place, she also has "discovered Heaven," and you can learn its "exact location" and see it with "the naked eye." I don't know if you will actually see Heaven anymore than the "Pretseers" see Jesus' Return in A. D. 70, for I haven't read the book to learn how to "see" Heaven. But if you have money you wouldn't mind donating, you can send it to MA for her book "Heaven Found." And if you find it, let me know.

MA's story about the "rectangle of light" also includes her "hearing a masculine voice," and at that time she was reading Job 33:15 "in the Septuagint." Also, that "rectangle of light" appeared on her open Bible "in a darkened room." Maybe that's why I never get any "lights" like this, for I can't read in the dark and can't read the Septuagint.

Like all other Prophecy Experts, MA is greatly influenced by Matthew 24, especially 24:34. That's the verse that all the Prophecy Experts are inspired by, even if they don't all see it alike. Everything from "A. D. 70ism" to MA's Rapture '98 is based on Matthew 24:34. According to MA, the reason "1988" was not the Rapture time was because it was ten years too early. Instead of "40 years" after 1948, it should have been known that it would be "50 years." She explains all of this, and it all relates to "Pentecost" and the number "50." She has all the dates, and figures, and has it all worked out; I'll not bore you with all the details; just take her word for it. She says it's all "LOCKED IN."

Of course, "1948" is "significant" because as we have been told 10 million times, that's when "Israel became a nation." I always thought it was in the Old Testament that Israel first was a "nation" and Israel was peculiarly a nation unto the Lord (Gen. 12:2), and was not "reckoned among the nations" (Numbers 23:9) but was reckoned unto the Lord. Ever since the Babylonian captivity, Israel has not been able to function as in the past, but a "restoration" is promised (Jer. 30-33). I never thought it happened in 1948 or 1967, but then, who am I? I never had a "rectangle of light" flash on my Bible in the dark, and I never heard a "masculine voice."

At any rate, MA has it all figured out, based on Matt. 24:34 and the 1948 matter, and she figures that 50 years will bring us to Pentecost Sunday in May 1998. In fact, she has it right down to the "hour," and advises you to "check your time zone." That thing in the Bible about "not knowing the day and hour" no longer applies; that only applied to "that day" before the last days. Sorta like it is with the "A. D. 70" hermeneutic -- Jesus didn't know the day, but He knew the "generation." All of these Prophecy Experts know how to explain all of those things so that it shouldn't give us any trouble. If we would "just listen."

Now, when something is really important in MA's writings, she noticed that her keyboard will just automatically use "CAPS." She can't explain it, for she doesn't do a thing to "lock" the caps. Well, I have had some times like that, too, but it's certainly not as MA's; mine seems to be my "flicking" my little finger on the wrong key. But with MA, it's not that, and she says it "has happened over a dozen times." She says the caps you see "are not of my doing." Well, we all know that "U-NO-WHO" did that, don't we?

MA also informs us that "baby church" didn't understand the prophecies (much like the "Pretskis" tell us about the church in A. D. 70; it took them awhile to "catch on" to reading the Writings of Josephus, Eusebius, and Jerome). But now, MA says, the church today can understand, and she refers to Daniel 12:9, 10. I personally have felt that the early church did understand, and if it had not gotten side-tracked through the writings of Josephus, it might have never misunderstood. But then -- who am I?

Oh, by the way, MA says there will be "two Raptures." One will take place on Pentecost and the other one will take place before the Wrath of the Tribulation. The Church on Pentecost and the Tribulation Saints later on. Now, that ought to solve any debate about when the Rapture will occur. I don't know about you, but I am making my reservation for Rapture #1. If Ruckman is right about the Antichrist coming in on a UFO to kiss people with two big black lips, I don't want any such a thing happening to me!

Now, don't think that MA got all of this information simply by her little self; she has had some help -- from a fellow named "Bruce Baber." He helped on the "Two Raptures" thing. He also told her that "Enoch's and Elijah's translations foreshadow the two Raptures," and she said, "I just love to learn something new." Well, so do I! and that is certainly "a new one on me"! I'm tickled to death to learn about it!

MA says "the Rapture will probably take place during the night, which for the Jews precedes the daytime." Also, you must "remember that it will be Jerusalem time. Their days start at 6:00 P. M. the preceding day, our time. You may also need to find out how many hours they are behind or ahead of you in your time zone to calculate the correct day where you where you are located."

Now, this is getting a little "too worrisome" for a "slow-mo" like me; I wonder if anyone reading this knows about a Tour** to Israel the last week of May 1998? I just might try to go on that Tour, to save me the trouble of having to figure all this "time" stuff out.

Well, that's about it, except you can read all of this vitial stuff on MA's and you are invited to copy her article and distribute it to others "at no charge." In fact, that might help MA sell a few more books, and you could "reward her" a little for helping you get ready for the next Rapture.

Too bad all you A. D. 70 Pret-rappers have already had your "Rapture" in your "Matthew 24 time frame." Hope you enjoy the Great Tribulation!

HITTING THE MOTHER LODE!!

OR

Why I absolutely LOVE the Internet!!

It is just amazing all the wonderful things you can find when you are just surfing around. Look at this next mother lode of nonsense, proving that stupidity is not a current event.

About 90 CE: Saint Clement 1 predicted that the world end would occur at any moment.

2nd Century CE: Prophets and Prophetesses of the Montanist movement predicted that Jesus would return sometime during their lifetime and establish the New Jerusalem in the city of Pepuza in Asia Minor.

365 CE: A man by the name of Hilary of Poitiers, announced that the end would happen that year. It didn't.

375 to 400 CE: Saint Martin of Tours, a student of Hilary, was convinced that the end would happen sometime before 400 CE.

500 CE: This was the first year-with-a-nice-round-number-panic. The antipope Hippolytus and an earlier Christian academic Sextus Julius Africanus had predicted Armageddon at about this year.

968 CE: An eclipse was interpreted as a prelude to the end of the world by the army of the German emperor Otto III.

992: Good Friday coincided with the Feast of the Annunciation; this had long been believed to be the event that would bring forth the Antichrist, and thus the end-times events foretold in the book of Revelation. Records from Germany report that a new sun rose in the north and that as many as 3 suns and 3 moons were fighting.

Sounds like these people were imbibing the same brewskies which made Martin Luther think he had the right to leave the Church and begin his own.

1000-JAN-1: Many Christians in Europe had predicted the end of the world on this date. As the date approached, Christian armies waged war against some of the Pagan countries in Northern Europe. The motivation was to convert them all to Christianity, by force if necessary, before Christ returned in the year 1000. Meanwhile, some Christians had given their possessions to the Church in anticipation of the end. Fortunately, the level of education was so low that many citizens were unaware of the year. They did not know enough to be afraid. Otherwise, the panic might have been far worse than it was. Unfortunately, when Jesus did not appear, the church did not return the gifts. Serious criticism of the Church followed. The Church reacted by exterminating some heretics.

1000-MAY: The body of Charlemagne was disinterred on Pentecost. A legend had arisen that an emperor would rise from his sleep to fight the Antichrist.

1005-1006: A terrible famine throughout Europe was seen as a sign of the closeness of the end.

1033: Some believed this to be the 1000th anniversary of the death and resurrection of Jesus. His second coming was anticipated. Jesus' actual date of execution is unknown, but is believed to be in the range of 27 to 33 CE.

1147: Gerard of Poehlde decided that the millennium had actually started in 306 CE during Constantine's reign. Thus, the world end would happen in 1306 CE.

1179: John of Toledo predicted the end of the world during 1186. This estimate was based on the alignment of many planets.

1205: Joachim of Fiore predicted in 1190 that the Antichrist was already in the world, and that King Richard of England would defeat him. The Millennium would then begin, sometime before 1205.

1284: Pope Innocent III computed this date by adding 666 years onto the date the Islam was founded.

1346 and later: The black plague spread across Europe, killing one third of the population. This was seen as the prelude to an immediate end of the world. Unfortunately, the Christians had previously killed a many of the cats, fearing that they might be familiars of Witches. The fewer the cats, the more the rats. It was the rat fleas that spread the black plague.

1496: This was approximately 1500 years after the birth of Jesus. Some mystics in the 15th century predicted that the millennium would begin during this year.

1524: Many astrologers predicted the imminent end of the world due to a world wide flood. They obviously had not read the Genesis story of the rainbow.

1533: Melchior Hoffman predicted that Jesus' return would happen in 1533 and that the New Jerusalem would be established in Strasbourg, Germany. He was arrested and died in a Strasbourg jail.

1669: The Old Believers in Russia believed that the end of the world would occur in this year. 20 thousand burned themselves to death from 1669 to 1690 to protect themselves from the Antichrist.

1689: Benjamin Keach, a 17th century Baptist, predicted the end of the world for this year.

1736: British theologian and mathematician William Whitson predicted a great flood similar to Noah's for OCT-13 of this year.

1792: This was the date of the end of the world calculated by some believers in the Shaker movement.

1794: Charles Wesley, one of the founders of Methodism, thought Doomsday would be in this year.

1830: Margaret McDonald, a Christian prophetess, predicted that Robert Owen would be the Antichrist. Owen helped found New Harmony, IN.

As a little footnote, this is the same Margaret McDonald who is the authoress of Premillenialism. Seems that God gave her a series of dreams in which she saw the whole eschatological vision and began to put it forth to others. One this nonsense hit the shores of America, it ran awry like gasoline soaked prairie grass in the middle of a four month dry spell. Based on her failure to correctly identify the Anti - Christ and the repeated predictive failures of her followers, such as Hal Lindsey, I would say that using the term "prophetess" is being overly generous.

1832: Joseph Smith, the founder of the Mormon movement, heard a voice and interpreted it as implying that if he lived to the age of 85, Jesus would return. This would be the year 1890. Unfortunately, by that year, Smith had been dead for almost a half century.

Obviously, the title "prophet" was well wasted on this guy also!!

1843-MAR-21: William Miller, founder of the Millerite movement, predicted that Jesus would come on this date.

1844-OCT-22: When Jesus did not return, Miller predicted this new date. In an event which is now called "The Great Disappointment," many Christians sold their property and possessions, quit their jobs and prepared themselves for the second coming. Nothing happened; the day came and went without incident.

1914 was one of the more important estimates of the start of the war of Armageddon by the Jehovah's Witnesses (Watchtower Bible and Tract Society). They computed 1914 from prophecy in the book of Daniel, Chapter 4. The writings referred to "seven times". The WTS interpreted each "time" as equal to 360 days, giving a total of 2520 days. This was further interpreted as representing 2520 years, measured from the starting date of 607 BCE. This gave 1914 as the target date. When 1914 passed, they changed their prediction; 1914 became the year that Jesus invisibly began his rule.

Is that similar to the "invisible church" of Protestantism which began in 1517?

1914, 1918, 1920, 1925, 1941, 1975 and 1994, etc. were other dates that the Watchtower Society or its members predicted. 1975 looked likely as it was computed as the 6000th anniversary of the creation of Adam in the Garden of Eden in 4026 BCE. They interpreted Psalms 90:10 as defining the length of a generation to be 80 years. Since 1914 plus 80 equals 1994, they predicted Armageddon would occur around that year. This prediction came from the grass-roots level; the Watchtower Society did not officially proclaim it. The latest estimate is 6000 years after the creation of Eve, for which no date can be determined with any accuracy. The Jehovah's Witnesses are no longer setting dates, but expect the end of the world, as we know it, at any time.

Well, shoot!!! That ruins all the fun. Wonder how Hal Lindsey feels to know that these heretics are smarter than he is?

1919: Meteorologist Albert Porta predicted that the conjunction of 6 planets would generate a magnetic current that would cause the sun to explode and engulf the earth on DEC-17.

1936: Herbert W Armstrong, founder of the Worldwide Church of God, predicted that the Day of the Lord would happen sometime in 1936. When the prediction failed, he made a new estimate: 1975.

1948: During this year, the state of Israel was founded. Some Christians believed that this event was the final prerequisite for the second coming of Jesus. Various end of the world predictions were made in the range 1888 to 2048.

1953-AUG: David Davidson wrote a book titled "The Great Pyramid, Its Divine Message". In it, he predicted that the world would end in 1953-AUG.

1957-APR: The Watchtower magazine quoted 6 a pastor from California, Mihran Ask, as saying in 1957-JAN that "Sometime between April 16 and 23, 1957, Armageddon will sweep the world! Millions of persons will perish in its flames and the land will be scorched.'

1959: The Branch Davidians of Waco TX believed that they would be killed, resurrected and transferred to heaven by APR-22.

How? Janet Reno wasnít even in office yet? Oh, well. They only missed by about 30 years. Thatís pretty acceptable for lunatics.

1960: Piazzi Smyth, a past astronomer royal of Scotland, wrote a book circa 1860 titled "Our Inheritance in the Great Pyramid." It was responsible for spreading the belief in pyramidology throughout the world. This is the belief that secrets are hidden in the dimensions of the great pyramids. He concluded from his research that the millennium would start before the end of 1960 CE.

1967: During the six day war, the Israeli army captured all of Jerusalem. Many conservative Christians believed that the rapture would occur quickly. However, the final Biblical prerequisite for the second coming is that the Jews resume ritual animal sacrifices in the temple at Jerusalem. That never happened.

1970's: The late Moses David (formerly David Berg) was the founder of the Christian religious group, The Children of God . He predicted that a comet would hit the earth, probably in the mid 1970's and destroy all life in the United States. One source indicated that he believed it would happen in 1973.

1974: Charles Meade, a pastor in Daleville, IN, predicted that the end of the world will happen during his lifetime. He was born circa 1927, so the end will probably come early in the 21st century.

1978: Chuck Smith, Pastor of Calvary Chapel in Cost Mesa CA predicted the rapture in 1981.

1981: Teleminister Arnold Murray taught an anti-Trinitarian belief about God, and Christian Identity . Back in the 1970's, he predicted that the Anti Christ would appear before 1981.

1981: Rev. Sun Myung Moon, founder of the Unification Church predicted that the Kingdom of Heaven would be established in this year.

1982: Pat Robertson predicted a few years previously that the world would end in the fall of 1982.

1982: Astronomers John Gribben & Setphen Plagemann predicted the "Jupiter Effect" in 1974. They wrote that when various planets were aligned on the same side of the sun, tidal forces would create solar flares, radio interruptions, rainfall and temperature disturbances and massive earthquakes. The planets did align, as seen from earth, but nothing unusual happened.

1984 to 1999: In 1983, Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, later called Osho, teacher of what has been called the Rajneesh movement, is said to have predicted massive destruction on earth, including natural disasters and man-made catastrophes. Floods larger than any since Noah, extreme earthquakes, very destructive volcano eruptions, nuclear wars etc. will be experienced. Tokyo, New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Bombay will all disappear. Actually, the predictions were read by his secretary; their legitimacy is doubtful.

1986: Moses David of The Children of God faith group predicted that the Battle of Armageddon would take place in 1986. Russia would defeat Israel and the United States. A worldwide Communist dictatorship would be established. In 1993, Christ would return to earth.

1988:Hal Lindsey predicted in his book "The Late, Great Planet Earth" that the Rapture was coming in 1988 - one generation or 40 years after the creation of the state of Israel. This failed prophecy did not appear to damage his reputation. He continues to write books of prophecy which sell very well indeed.

Proving that PT Barnum was a genius, for there is not just "a sucker born every minute" there are literally millions of them "borned again" by "accepting Jaaaaayzuz" and Hal knows all too well they have money to spend and will read just about any silly pap you put into their hands. And if you canít hook them with putrid predictions of premillenial peril, then write some stinkiní lies like Jack Chick does and watch the dollars come flying in. Chick was no dummy. Since he knew that the average intelligence of these folks with the bib overalls on was not all that high, he resorted to drawing cartoons to sell his poisonous little missives. That way the massa damnata is spared from the pain of actually having to do things like read, research, study, and most of all, think for themselves.

1988: Alfred Schmielewsky, a psychic whose stage name was "super-psychic A.S. Narayana," predicted in 1986 that the world's greatest natural disaster would hit Montreal in 1988. Sadly, his psychic abilities failed him on 1999-APR-11 when he answered the door of his home only to be shot dead by a gunman.

Oh man, if that just isnít delicious irony, I just donít know what is!!

1988-MAY: A 1981 movie titled "The man who saw tomorrow" described some of Nostradamus predictions. Massive earthquakes were predicted for San Francisco and Los Angeles.

1988-OCT-11: Edgar Whisenaut, a NASA scientist, had published the book "88 Reasons why the Rapture will Occur in 1988." It sold over 4 million copies.

I think he had his head in the clouds. Or possibly somewhere else God never intended it to be

About 1990: Peter Ruckman concluded from his analysis of the Bible that the rapture would come within a few years of 1990.

Oh, this is the KJV only genius of the world. Heís probably as accurate about Bible translations as he is about the coming of the Lord. You know what, the next time he calls someone a "mental midget" or something to that effect, perhaps they should remind his highness of his uncanny prophetic abilities.

Early 1990's: In 1992, David Koresh led the Students of the Seven Seals (a.k.a.Branch Davidian) group in Waco Texas. He changed the name of their commune from Mt. Carmel to Ranch Apocalypse, because of his belief that the final all-encompassing battle of Armageddon mentioned in the Bible would start at the Branch Davidian compound. They had calculated that the end would occur in 1995. After a 51-day standoff, on 1993-APR-10, 76 members died as a result of a deliberately set fire.

1990-APR-23: Elizabeth Clare Prophet, leader of the Church Universal and Triumphant made a series of statements that many members believed indicated the start of nuclear war on this date. At least 2,000 followers traveled Montana to occupy CUT's fallout shelters.

1991: Mother Shipton, a 16th century mystic predicted the end of the world: "...The world to an end shall come; in nineteen hundred and ninety-one."

1992-OCT-28: Lee Jang Rim, a Korean Christian pastor, taught that the Rapture would occur on this date, at 10:00 AM EST. It didn't happen; many of his followers allegedly committed suicide.

1993: Benny Hinn, an Assemblies of God pastor from Florida predicted that the rapture would come in 1993. He also said that God would destroy all homosexuals by 1995 at the latest.

And this is the guy who hears God whisper in his ear, right?

1993-NOV-11: The 1993-JUL-20 issue of the Weekly World News contained an article titled "Doomsday Asteroids." Top scientists allegedly wrote a top-secret document which revealed that M-167, a known asteroid, would hit the earth on NOV-11 and perhaps end all life on earth. The M series of astronomical objects were catalogued by Messier: M-1 is the crab nebula; M-31 is the Andromeda galaxy; M-45 are the Pleiades. There is no M object with a number higher than M-110.

1993 to 1997: Rulon Jeffs was spokesperson for the The Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, a Mormon polygamist splinter group. In 1993, he allegedly told high school graduates to not attend college. The reasoning was that the world would end before they could finish. The splinter group was founded in 1929 and was excommunicated from the Salt Lake City-based Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints because of their policy of polygamy. 26

1994, approximately: There have been continual reports that Jesus and Mary have bee appearing in Conyers, GA on the 13th of every month to deliver a message to Nancy Fowler, a homemaker and nurse. Over 1 million pilgrims have visited her prayer site. On 1994-FEB-6, Jesus is recorded as saying: "Conflicts will turn into wars....Then so will the earth tremble in many places. The earth will divide. The earth will divide and take away your riches. Some of you will die suddenly. You will have no warning...The clock continues to tick. The hour is rapidly approaching when one disaster after another will befall you. There will be fighting everywhere. There will be famine and polluted water in many places." No specific dates were given for these occurrences.

Ummmmm....thank goodness that the official position of the Catholic Church is that I donít have to believe in private revelations. These "prophecies," like many other failed ones before them, are just a bit too generic for my taste.

1994-SEP: Harold Camping, president of Family Radio predicted on his radio programs that the end of the world would happen during this month.

Hereís one guy who seriously needs to retire now before he embarrasses himself even worse than he already has. Typical Calvinist, he loves to insist that "the Bible alone and in itís entirety" is the only guide for the Christian life. Thus, all others, who hold to doctrines and teachings which come from tradition are considered to be in deep weeds spiritually by Mr. Camping. I just have one question for Mr. Camping. Would you please show me that verse that says that women who are being physically beaten should stay in their marriage and not leave the house for the safety of a shelter? Yeah, thatís one of his teachings as he appeals to the sovereignty of God over all of life. Stay and get killed for Jesus. Even the "idol worshipping Catholic church" isnít that stupid. My wife about flipped out when she first heard him preach that lunacy.

Sometime in 1996: The book "The Return of Jupiter: End of the world in the light of the Bible" Dorrance Publishing, Pittsburgh PA predicted a disaster starting in the Pacific Ocean: "A terrible earthquake is going to break the oceanic earth crust under the Pacific Ocean by the year 1996 AD"

1996-OCT-23: Since 1658, many Christians have accepted the calculations of James Ussher, an Irish archbishop, who estimated that the first day of creation occurred on 4004-OCT-23 BCE. This would make the time interval between the creation of the world and a common estimate of the birth of Christ to be precisely 4000 years. Some people believe that Ussher fudged the data to make it come out neatly. He also estimated that the end of the world would occur exactly 6000 years later, in the fall of 1996. This is based on the concept of the "millennial week": that each of the 6 days of creation mentioned in Genesis is linked to a 1000 year time span in the life of the earth. On the 7th millennial day, 1996-OCT-23, Ussher expected that life as we know it will cease.

Looks like Irish drunks are no better at prophecy than German drunks.

1997-MAR-8: The Vortex of the Star of David religious sect of Luskville, Quebec was quoted 8 as predicting the end of the world on Saturday, MAR-8. A father, Jean Leon Marcoux, was interviewed; he was worried because his children will be visiting their mother at the sect's commune on that weekend. He approached the Quebec police but was unable to get them to take any action. A spokesperson for the sect stated that they do not follow a doomsday scenario.

1997-APR-10: Dan Millar, of Surrey, BC, Canada and Bob Wadsworth of the Biblical Astronomy newsletter are two religious researchers. They followed the age-old tradition of looking for signs in the heavens for the arrival of the Antichrist, second coming of Christ, etc. Ancient prophecies told of heavenly events and even a cross in the sky in advance of momentous developments. Millar and Wadsworth predicted the arrival of the Antichrist on APR-10. Dan suggested that we watch news from the Vatican and from Jerusalem on that day, because he expected some sort of coup by the Antichrist. He was expected to come to power in the Vatican as Pope Peter II. One heavenly indicator was the intersection by two comets of the star Algol in the constellation Perseus. Comets Hyakutake and Hale-Bopp intersected the star on the same date (APR-11) on two adjacent years (Hyakutake in 1996 and Hale-Bopp in 1997). Plotting the two comets' trajectories over the period APR-1 to APR-30 on the two years forms an almost perfect cross. They intersected between the eyes of the Medusa head that Perseus is holding in his left hand. "Algol" means "Demon Star" in Arabic. The head is known as Rosh Satan (the head of Satan) in Hebrew. There was one further heavenly sign: on the evening of APR-10, there will be a lunar occultation of the star Aldebaran in the constellation Taurus.

1997-OCT-20: A Jewish group, called the Temple Mount and Land of Israel Faithful Movement were expected to attempt to place the cornerstone of a new temple on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem. This is a small piece of real estate that is the most sacred spot in the world to Jews, and one of the most sacred to Muslims. The ~Rapture Ready ome page has predicted that the "Tribulation" would be triggered by that event. Previous attempts had failed either because of riots, or police action. There was one report that they were going to try to airlift the stone by helicopter this time. On OCT-20, several thousand police officers were deployed throughout Jerusalem; they successfully prevented access to the Temple Mount.

1997-NOV-27: The Sacerdotal Knights of National Security report that "A space alien captured at a UFO landing site in eastern Missouri cracked under interrogation by the CIA and admitted that an extraterrestrial army will attack Earth on November 27 with the express purpose of stripping our planet of every natural resource they can find a use for -- and making slaves of every man, woman and child in the world!"

1997: Superdave the Wonderchemist 9 takes the magic number 1331 and adds it to 666 the "Number of the Beast" from the Book of Revelation to get the year of the arrival of the Antichrist and the end of the world. Why is 1331 a magic number?

1331 is the same backwards as forwards.

It is 11 raised to the 3rd power

It displays the unlucky number 13 when read in either direction.

it is the fourth row in Pascal's Triangle:

1997-DEC-31: The 1997-JUL-29 issue of the Weekly World News reported that the biggest end of the world scare since the Cuban missile crisis was circulating through Washington. President Clinton called a secret meeting with leading Bible scholars for the week of JUL-27. A confidential Pentagon memo sparked the scare; it predicts a worldwide cataclysm of unprecedented proportions. Earthquake activity is on a rise and will peak at year-end; the earth's crust is shifting ominously.

Sometime in late 1997 or early 1998: The 1997-JUL-29 issue of the Weekly World News carried a statement by a spokesperson of the International Association of Psychics. 92% of their 120,000 members have had the same "end time" vision. Spokesperson Madame Vredeau predicted:

A rise in religious belief. Prophets and saints will appear and lead the faithful to safety

The oceans will shrink. Deserts expand. Crops will fail; there will be massive starvation

Widespread emotional and mental collapse; increase in crime and violence

Changing weather patterns; basic laws of nature will be disrupted

Satanic demons will appear in broad daylight. War, pestilence, a worldwide plague will spread.

Humanity will disappear around the year 2001 C E

Hey, and Iíll read your palm for a quarter while Iím at it. I am beyond amazed, given their absolutely atrocious track record, that anyone believes in these satanic charlatans for one second. But, like I said earlier, never underestimate the taste of the massa damnata for sensationalism. Hal Lindsey certainly hasnít and he is living quite comfortably right now.

The Verdict Is In Judge Wapner!!!

And it is no different then the first edition of mine which chronicled this kind of nonsense. I quote from the opening paragraphs of ĎPrivate Interpretation and Fruitcakeí:

"This little paper (if it serves the purpose it is intended for), will show quite well how important an authority above the individual really is. These are people and groups that insist that there is no select group of men and a select body (such as the Catholic Church) to whom the holy Spirit guides in a unique manner. Thus, this paper will challenge this assertion and demonstrate how easy it is to fall off the edge of the world theologically when one insists that the charism of the Holy Spirit and His guidance are given promiscuously to every man."

And again from the Epilogue of the piece quoting the famous skeptic H L Mencken:

"Protestantism, in fact, started out upon its career nursing two massive errors, each of them sufficient to ruin it. One was the error of assuming that all Christians were really Christians, and the other was the error of assuming that they were intelligent enough to ascertain and embrace the truth. Both were found out very quickly, but not soon enough to get rid of them. Their collision with the veriest elements of human nature has produced an immense proliferation of fantastic sects and a long series of anti-papal popes, beginning with Luther and Calvin.

Today Protestantism is either a banal imitation of Catholicism or a cruel burlesque upon it. It is almost too incoherent to be discussed seriously. I could invent new forms of it almost ad infinitum, as a mathematician invents new algebrasÖ[the end result is that] bibliolatry turns upon and devours itself. Any half-wit, searching Holy Writ, is free to found a sect of his own - and if not upon the actual text, then upon the interpolations, mistranslations and typographical errors. Thousands of such half-wits, as everyone knows, have made use of that franchise, and the result is chaos."

The Roman church has escaped the same disaster by keeping the Bible in its place. What the Bible says, however it may clash with common knowledge and common sense, is inspired and infallible --but Holy Church reserves the right to determine precisely what it says. In that reservation there is a wisdom beyond the highest flight of philosophers. Once a Frenchman announced to an American friend that he was leaving the [Catholic] church of his fathers. The American asked what variety of Protestantism he proposed to patronize. 'I have lost my faith,' answered the Frenchman icily, 'but not my reason.'

The distinction, it seems to me, is quite sound..."

And it is still a distinction that seems to me to be quite sound as well. What absolutely amazes me is that many of these last people mentioned in our century donít even have the decency to be embarrassed by their lunacy and lack of cogent Bible study. They still keep pumpiní out dem books and tapes and fleecing the faithful on a regular basis. Our Lord warned of those false prophets who would come to you in sheepís clothing but inwardly would be ravenous wolves (Matt. 7:15). I have warned you now in two essays of some of these very wolves that Our Lord speaks of. Considering these warnings, if you fall for this crap, you deserve to lose your money. But you should have even greater concern then that my friend. You should be concerned for your eternal soul, which by imbibing this garbage is placed in danger of being lost forever. This is not something that you should take lightly by any means.

Authorís Epilogue

In proofreading this text, it comes to my attention that I have been considerably harsh with these people and perhaps some of the more tender souls among you may take offense at this.

My friends, I have not been nearly as harsh with these men as our Lord was with the religious charlatans of Israel in Matthew 23. He was gracious and loving to the sheep in Israel, but to those who were leading them astray, He had nothing kind to say at all. It is a well known fact that humor sometimes carries the most cutting edge. The men (and women) fancy themselves great sages, vast intellects, and people who are being intimately led of the Lord.

By thus presenting themselves, they open their lives to extreme scrutiny by those who have this small fetish for something called TRUTH. Those of us, like myself who was a Protestant for 25 years, who believed their lies and have experienced personal harm from them, do have a certain axe to grind with them. That I will not hide. But on the other hand, if they are going to pretend to speak for the Lord and then come up with insanity, then as far as I am concerned, they are fair game. If they don't like it ---REPENT!!

As Dr. Art Sippo said to me in an EMail "There is a time for irenic conversation". I agree. Especially with seekers from Protestantism and those who are honestly confused. With THESE people, that time is long past. It is time that someone stand up to them and tell the world what they are by pointing out the total lies and mass confusion in their strange writings and insane rantings. If such truth offends you, I do apologize to you. It was not my intent to offend, but hopefully, to make you go away realizing that indeed, in this world, all that uses the name of Jesus, all who engage in "God talk", are not what they appear to be, and a thoughtful and cutting rebuttal hopefully can make this quite clear.

I do hope you will write me with your thoughts, including criticisms. After all, I myself have now entered the fray and therefore am also fair-game, right?

Cordially in Christ,

Brother Ed Hara

©2001, "Fruitcake II: aka ĎToo Many Nutsí", compiled and commentary by Edward A. Hara. This text may be downloaded or printed out for private reading, but it may not be uploaded to another Internet site or published, electronically or otherwise, without express written permission from the author.

To all Visitors, Grace of Christ to You

Page created by: Matt1618. Send email with questions on this article to Edward A. Hara christosrey@comcast.net



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